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- This is the first assignment of the semester where you are being asked to demonstrate that you can correctly practice the SKILL being taught in this assignment.
Over the next 3-5 days observe your:
Verbal use of “You” messages (and “you” thoughts) as you communicate with family members, partners, and friends. (You may not pull your examples from the workplace. You must maintain the proper focus of this class.)
- Make sure you record to whom were you speaking: name and relation to you. (Pick different people. In other words, do not pick the same person for all three instances.)
and most importantly record what emotion/feeling you were experiencing at the time you made the statement.
Type your statements verbatim (in exactly the same words you used.)
Choose three of your “you” messages to reword as an “I” messages.
(Scholars who do not observe their communication over the requisite amount of days, tend not to have enough material with which to work.)
Write your statements using the following format. (Format are exact so do not change the format you have been given. Follow it to the “T.”)
- EXAMPLE FORMAT
(Be sure to boldface the statement you see boldfaced here.)
“You” statement: “You never help me around the house. You are so lazy.”
- Significant other: I said this to my husband, Jeff.
- At the time I made this statement, I was feeling: frustrated, neglected, and used.
A more appropriate “I” statement would be (You must include the feeling you mentioned in the answer above statement):
- “Jeff, I feel angry when I come in from work and the kids toys are thrown all over the place.
- Statement of what I want: I would like you to pick up their toys with them in order to teach them how to be considerate of the other people they share space with.
- Do NOT insert the words “that” or “like” after the verb “feel.” The word that follows “feel” should be an adjective describing a feeling. If you insert the word “that,” you will change the statement from a true “I” statement into an attack, blame, criticism, in other words, a not-so-disguised attach.
SPACE BETWEEN EACH SET OF STATEMENTS.
- Your Analysis of Your Communication Behavior
After you have record three sets of statements following the required format
- Write a 10-sentence paragraph in which you clearly and honestly analyze your communication behavior/style vis-a-vis the skill taught in this assignment. Are you:
How did it feel to be clear, direct, and to ask, precisely, for what you want?
Write your analysis through the eyes of a communication scholar. (Yes, that’s who you are becoming.)
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